Asleep, Awake
by Corliss Kat
Summary: Our dreams can describe who we are. -Unknown


**A/N: I got home from my art class yesterday and felt depressed and didn't have any chocolate to make me feel better. So I wrote this.**

Mello drove his motorcycle down the seemingly deserted road, not even caring to see how far past the speed-limit he was. It felt so good to let everything go, if only for a moment, and just drive. He zipped past countless stop signs and traffic signals, not paying them much heed. No one else was out there, so why should it matter?

Why did life have to be such a bitch? No, don't answer that. All anyone would ever say to a question like that is that it'll get better soon. Well guess what? It isn't getting any better.

Suddenly a car appeared in front of Mello, completely out of nowhere. The next moment was drawled out in slow motion

Swerving,

Screeching,

Siren's,

Then darkness.

PEEP

Mello didn't understand kids, younger, older, the same age as him, he just didn't understand kids. Fits, mood swings, the weird thing for toys, the need to always have a friend with them, he just didn't understand any of it. True, he himself did have fits, mood swings, he kept one special toy that his parents had given him when he was younger, he experienced all of that. Although, he never really felt the longing for a friend. That is, until Matt came.

Mello had been at the orphanage for about a year now, so he knew his way around pretty well and it made sense that Roger had asked him to show the newest recruit around. Of course, he had not been expecting to be told that he would be sharing a room with said new recruit.

"Uh, sure," he had answered, a little uneasy about having to share his room. He wasn't necessarily the best when it came to...friendship? He wasn't even sure if he could refer to it as that, being that he hadn't even said anything to the kid standing in front of him.

"Great, thank you, Mello," Roger said, leaving the two alone in the hallway. The redhead standing in front of him hadn't unglued his eyes from the floor. He was fiddling with the strap on a pair of orange tinted goggles in his hand.

"I'm Mello...What's your name?" Mello tried, not entirely sure how to start a conversation with someone he didn't know.

"Matt," he said, almost inaudibly, looking up just enough for Mello to be able to see his green eyes. There was something in the corner that look like...tears?

"Are you ok?" Mello asked, for some reason feeling concerned for the kid although he had no idea why. He didn't even know him. Mello reached over and lifted Matt's chin so that he could look at his face clearly. The poor boy looked like he was about to start sobbing, and Mello couldn't blame him. "It's ok if you cry. I cried a lot on my first day here too." Why was he telling him this? He had originally planned to die with that secret. Guess plans change.

"You did?" Matt asked, genuinely surprised, though Mello couldn't figure why.

"Yeah, I think everyone cries on their first day," Mello said, smiling at him in hopes of cheering him up. Seemed to work, cause he returned it with one of the most beautiful smiles Mello had ever seen, and probably ever will.

PEEP

Mello sat in the cafeteria, ears plugged with his earbuds and music blasting loud enough to not damage his ears while droning out the rest of the world. It was one of those days that everything really sucked.

It had started with a bunch of new kids had just come in, a large percentage of them gigantic brats, and were all talking about they're parents. They almost seemed to be _bragging_ about how screwed up their lives had used to be. It was so annoying. It wasn't just that there was a whole lot of ruckus coming from the area they were sitting in that was getting to Mello, it was their topic of discussion.

Mello always tried to never think about his parents; it was too painful. But not because they were so messed up and mean to him. The reason was the opposite really. His parents had loved him the way that any parents should love their kid. From what he could remember of those four years he had been with them, they treated him kindly and fairly. That's probably the only reason he still kept that old stuffed animal his father had gotten him when he was born. But then they were killed.

Of course, Mello had never told anyone this. Not even Matt. And that's why he was in the predicament he was in.

When Matt had asked why Mello was being moody, Mello had kinda snapped. It wasn't really his fault that he had a short temper that was already being pushed to it's limits. But then he made Matt mad, so he stormed off and Mello just wanted to sink into the floor and never come back up.

Just as Mello turned his attention back to picking at the food in front of him that he really had no interest in, a paper airplane skitted to a halt in front of him. Curiosity getting the better of him, he picked it up, unfolding it.

'We OK?' was scrawled out on the paper in Matt's messy, printed letters. Mello looked up to where Matt was sitting. He raised his eyebrows in anticipation for the answer to the question, and Mello couldn't help but smile. It was impossible to be mad at him for long.

PEEP

Everything pointed towards it being a normal Saturday afternoon, Matt sitting in front of the TV with a gaming console playing some video game that Mello didn't understand the concept of, Mello sitting on his bed with a book in his lap. But it most definitely did not feel normal.

More and more recently Mello had begun to notice that he was starting to develop...feelings for Matt. He was trying so hard to turn his attention away from the growing feeling in his gut and back to the book he was supposedly reading, but couldn't for the life of him force himself to do so. His eyes kept wandering back to the redhead who was too busy concentrating on his game to even notice that he was being, as much as Mello hated to admit he was doing so, stared at.

If anything, these feelings were annoying. It's not like he really wanted to constantly notice little things about Matt- like how his hair falls over his right eye if he isn't wearing those goggles or how he always bites his lip when concentrating really hard-and then later not be able to get the image of them out of his mind. So Mello had come to the conclusion that crushes suck.

"Mels, you ok?" Mello was knocked out of his inner monologue.

"What, yeah. Why?" he answered quickly.

"You were staring at me." Shit. He got caught. Mello could feel a mega-blush starting to form on his face.

"Oh, uh, was I?" he said, trying to cover up for that by playing the innocent card, all the while not making eye contact. Matt turned off the TV and walked over to where Mello was, taking a seat next to him. Mello could feel his heartbeat quicken. Stop it, he thought. You've sat next to him a thousand times before. This shouldn't be any different.

"Dude, you've been acting weird for like a week now," he said, leaning against the wall. "What's up?" Mello had no idea how to answer that question. He could make something up, but his brain didn't seem like it was working at the moment. He could tell him the truth, but that was much easier thought than done. One part of him wanted more than anything for the book he had been reading to swallow him up. Another, much louder part of him, wanted to pull Matt close to him and...

"I don't know," he said with a shrug, pushing down those thoughts. Maybe he could get away with pretending it was one of his weird mood swings.

"Seriously, you can tell me anything." All of the quieter parts of Mello's mind continued to debate while that one, loud-mouthed part got the better of him. He leaned forward, pulling Matt to him by his shirt and kissed him. Matt must have been surprised because it took him a moment to react, but when he did, he kissed back.

It was at that moment that Mello decided that crushes don't suck all that much.

PEEP

"I hate it when we get patients like this," said one of the nurses, glancing over at the newest arrival. "It's so sad."

"Yeah," said one of the other nurses. "Hope he remembers who he is when he wakes up."

"I just wish someone would come claim him," said the first nurse as she stood up with a stack of paperwork, walking past the blonde man lying in a coma from a bike accident, currently filed under the name John Doe.

 **A/N: I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors. Once again, feedback is appreciated.**


End file.
